At first, I was afraid to be a part of this film lab, because I was afraid of competition, to be part of a closed group. I was afraid of my own feelings of jealousy. I am happy now that I did not listen to these voices and these doubts, that I followed my intuitive need to take a
chance on a new adventure; the “Cine-Jam film lab”. There is something very beautiful that we experienced. I can see now that every individual in this group was able to create a very honest and authentic film that reflects who they are. There was no way to compare our films or each other as we were required to simply be our unique selves. There is something Muriel was always saying during the film lab: “Be honest towards your emotions and listen to your intuition, why do you need to understand to be able to feel?”. I hold these words within me, to apply in Art, in my spiritual and mundane life as well. I understand now that our emotions guide us to ourselves. My film is ME and I am proud of it. I cannot watch it and doubt its value because when I look at it, I realize how much it represents me and that makes me so happy. The world needs more of that to create change. I am so grateful to have met everyone in this group, Sherine, Marie- Rose, Gilbert, Bachir, Valentina, Jean-Pierre. I was happy to see Aline and Amar who are my closest friends, in a different frame. I feel that I know them more now and I’m happy we went through this together. I also got to know Muriel on a closer level. I got to feel her soul, to witness her passion and faith in planting seeds in us.

I can summarize my “Ana Beirut” experience by saying that it was a much-needed exchange between fellow artists who were all seeking catharsis from the cumulative darkness in which our country is falling. The jamming we had was that of parents adopting each other’s babies. Each of the films was delivered by the small community we managed to create. We poured feelings into the comments instead of the judgment of any kind, artistic or opinionated. I came out of this wave of positive and constructive lift-off both in art and in the personal sense, comforted with the certainty that intuitive emotions are the core of every true artistic declaration.

The idea of belonging to a group of Filmmakers was the farthest thing from my mind! I was afraid of the commitment, of being put on the same level as others, of creating a film within a month, and with such a daunting subject: “Ana Beirut”. Aline, Ghina and I all said: it’ll be all of us or no one! I submitted. I submitted to be myself, I submitted to translate my feelings through visuals and audio, I submitted to be authentic and nothing else. It was tough, emotional, honest, true, and unpredictable. Our feelings were growing week after week, the images were clearer, the voices came up in a three-dimensional form, something that you couldn’t accept. In this film lab, I discovered a lot about myself. I met beautiful people who are part of my life now. With Muriel, I learned how to feel, not how to think, and how to follow our hearts, so we can create a film that reveals our souls. We are precious, we are unique, we try to make a difference with art. I love my film, I love what I have gone through, I love the choice I made to live in Beirut, I love Beirut.

If I had one word to summarize my experience with Cine-Jam Film Lab, conducted by Muriel Aboulrouss, I would say it was MAGICAL. Just after the blast of the 4th of August 2020, I was rebuilding my home, taking care of my wounds, and trying to get things back to normal. In the process, things changed and all of Beirut’s citizens felt it. We were really down, trying to cope with what we had left in this city of fear and uncertainty. The call of ‘Ana Beirut The Series’ came just in time, a few months into my healing process with my therapist. I accepted the terms of the workshop and decided to face my fears and talk about the city and my feelings towards it. I took the challenge as part of my healing process. I followed my intuition to create a movie with no script, no preparation, only genuine emotions. The process was new to me and bringing out my deepest feelings wasn’t easy at first, especially when it came to listening to my inner voice and my deepest emotions to create a movie that would reflect them.
During the workshop, I realized that everything we resent can become the infrastructure of artwork; a base we can build on to paint a true image of what we want to say. I did my best to reconnect with myself and hear what others felt while watching the rushes in the nonjudgmental setting that aimed to narrow down, channel, and develop my piece of art. I never thought that I could make a movie about what happened after the 4th of August; however, extracting my feelings during the workshop helped me regain confidence and clarity while boosting my
self-esteem to be the artist I had put aside. This workshop taught me that sincere emotions are essential to create any true artwork, an artwork that can be a real soul healer and that’s what is MAGICAL about it all.

When my phone rang that day and I got invited to join the film lab, it felt like a breath of fresh air. Circumstances change overnight, don’t they? My choice to be in the arts and in filmmaking was an impulsive one. I don’t consciously know the reasons for that choice. All I know is that my entire being and feelings are mesmerized with all kinds of art and artistic forms of expression. Especially the audiovisual art form. I knew right from the start that my struggle wasn’t with Beirut itself, nor Lebanon, nor the system. I went into that workshop and came out of it still hating this city and country. That didn’t change. But that wasn’t all. In that film lab, I met some young men and women who have a way of feeling, expressing and approaching things that were different from mine. The only thing we had in common was our love of cinema. They held me when I didn’t have the strength to hold myself. From day 1, my questions to myself started making their way to the surface. Questions about what I truly wanted, what I loved, who I was, what I was, my relationship with Beirut through my own relationship with myself, with my family, my past, my present, my fears, etc. To be honest, I wasn’t ready for this journey. This Film-Lab allowed me to express my deepest self, in all honesty, along with its aspirations, its own style and identity. I fully chose that. But I must admit, it’s a dense kind of workshop that communicates with the soul, and mine isn’t ready to do that just yet. Ana Beirut #5 is my episode, it’s nothing more than the fruit of a number of struggles that helped me understand and analyze myself. I am grateful and in debt to everyone who helped me and supported me in this creative process. Ultimately, this workshop introduced me to a new cinematic style and signature which I might or might not explore in the future. The experience of it is truly worthy of mentioning. But above all, this workshop got me one step, albeit small, closer to myself, and that’s what I need more than ever right now.

Joining this film lab was a mature decision to escape from all the loudness, noise and chaos we live in. It was an authentic film creation experience far away from the mainstream and the common rules. Meeting and sharing with other artists allows you to join as an individual and leave with the spirit of many held in your heart. There’s something addictive about this 40-day experience, we always want more … Rooftop, Food, Cinema & Beirut what a hell of a combination! Thanks to Muriel Aboulrouss, the person behind this enriching initiative.

When I first got invited to join the Cine-Jam film lab conducted by Muriel Aboulrouss, I didn’t think twice and willingly said yes to this new adventure. I felt it was a much-needed experience amidst this chaos and uncertainty we’re living in, and it could be my only sweet escape. Being part of Ana Beirut the series, was an opportunity to explore ourselves and the city we live in, to discuss our feelings towards everything that’s happening. The place felt like home, the artists became family. Everything felt like a therapy process of creating authentic films that reflect who we really are, what we are feeling, how we are reacting. Sharing this personal piece of ourselves to the world is very challenging, but more importantly, it’s definitely a step forward towards self-love, healing, faith in our abilities, change and making peace. May art remain the only ray of hope in this country.

The Cine-Jam Film Lab & “Ana Beirut” was a one-of-a-kind experience where the Home of Cine-Jam roof held our stories, our struggles, our laughs, cries, and love. Where we let out our emotions and learn from them. It was a healer and a happy place. I wished I could take all of that environment with me because we all need to say things out loud and break the fears, to dare to dig deep into ourselves purely, with simplicity and honesty. Artistically the Cine-Jam Filmlab was a process that all the universities and artists should learn from!! It’s a process of artistic self-growth reaching intuitive creations and constructive communications. There are no rules or a system judging us… there was an authentic exchange in Art and in Life…We were all “Ana Beirut”

I didn’t want to take part in this filmlab at first. I had decided never to touch the cameras anymore. But this was more than a tool story. This initiative is above all an immersion into oneself. Witnessing a dominant emotion, meeting it in-depth, and letting clarity emerge. Poetically. And even if I didn’t want to express the darkness of my feeling yet. Once more, I realized, on a deeper level, that it’s always a way to fully expose the light and its beauty, which I now choose to consciously cultivate in my life, in this city that is Beirut, and in this country that is Lebanon. To mainly cultivate Beauty and freshness. The Cine-Jam film lab and Ana Beirut the series, is a long-term project that will go on in the next years, highlighting artists, what a precious gift! Tasting all of these essences! Awakening creators and this city to everything that it is. I’m very grateful to have created one episode. It’s a real intuitive and collaborative project where it’s not the ego that speaks but rather the essence of each one, the scents of life. And the many scents of a city, here, Beirut. Beirut, that is very present, far beyond its injuries. Thank you Home of ciné jam for your great support.

I was born and raised in Achrafieh, Beirut is my home, the place where I was loved, where I got lost, and where I became who I am today. I was looking for myself until I started going to university and this is where I met Muriel. You helped me find my film and your presence in my life means a lot to me. I am so happy that we are in each other’s lives. In the film lab, while creating Ana Beirut the series, I was so happy to witness the love, joy, and emotions we shared together. How amazing it was to feel at home on Home of Cine-Jam rooftop and your intuitive film-lab is a pure act of generosity and love. I was filled with genuine love, a love that was given to each and every one of us, and it’s a love that will remain forever. people need that in Lebanon and if they would experience what we did with you, Beirut would be a better place. I wish for this film-lab to continue for as long as possible and for filmmakers to know that there is a place and people who love and believe in them. Merci Muriel, Denise, and Home of Cine-Jam for this initiative and for reconnecting us all with who we are, our creative intuition, and our hearts.